11/16/2011
Slaves To the dollar.
So here I am frustrated and done with this country, I am committed to change it and here is how. I am going to inform of all of the bullshit that I see going on. I am tired of being rape and plumage of my time and energy to try to keep up with my bank account just to find out i owe someone else or taxes or anything else for that matter. It is time for the federal reserve to go away. It is time for the government to go away, there are so many ways that they have found to exploit us threw propaganda, television, news, media, school, Religion, internet, weather, you name it they will make it work to their advantage. To think that there is a President that will ever be able to make a change is unrealistic it won't or can't happen special interest groups and Parliament (congress) holds all the power. Even our food is tainted we ingest shit which en-tell feeds the doctors which feeds the pharmaceuticals and then we have fat pathetic people who don't have time to get in shape or eat better. It is time to take charge of this country it is time to wake up to the bullshit that is really going on here. If we don't start to care about each other we will eliminate this world, we have enough technology to make enough for all, and when everyone has enough there will be no crime. There is one catch though there is one essential item that is need that is Unconditional Love, If this exist then we will accept everyone for what they choose. I plead with you world please awaken to the new world this is the peoples world we don't need a government to tell us how to live life there are so many better things out there then what they lets us have, such as a completely oil free world, we can pull energy off of the currents in the ocean, off of the Geyser, which by the way have enough energy to run the world for a year in a short month or so of running. why do we insist that we have the best technology for us. We are fed mouth fulls of propaganda and bullshit it is time to rise up and take our world back and make life great for everyone not just a few elite. I know that i am a conspiratorial and that i am a dreamer but if we will all pull together we can have a better life for all. If we don't stop it soon it will self implode i plead with you let go of your religion let go of your beliefs, it is all made up the whole world as we know it, is made up and directed by the governments, Your religion is true it doesn't change the world there never will be some magical mystical being from the sky that will instantly change the world, think about it how could it be? How many Jesus' have there been to this point in time they are all pegged as lunatics and crazies if you want the world to change then lets start to spreed the word of enlightenment. Please stop letting the government ruin this planet, lets make life great for every one, so that all of us can live our passion. If you were living your passion would you need to get paid for it if we all had enough? No we would have a great life. Lets Do as many masters before us have taught lets create Heaven On Earth. If we are not in heaven now we never will be, Heaven can't be so far off pipe dream it has to be a reality in the moment...
10/16/2010
Today
Today I relized that i wanted to blame everything that i had done to this piont in my life on my up bring or the lack there of. I grew up in a strict MORMON house with three older brothers and a younger sister and a younger brother. the oldest is five years older the next is 4 years older and the third is 2 years older my sister is 5 years younger and my younger brother is seven years younger. I grew up with an exetreme case of what is diagnosed as ADHD and there for had a hard time relaeting to anybody in my family who could stay focused on anything for more than three seconds. I don't have many memories of my mom being really patient with me and really takeing the time to make sure that i was getting the attention i deserved. I love my mom very much and know that she did the best that she could do, this is just my peace.
Being a father now it has puttin alot of prospective on my life, i always remeber getting spanked for pointless reason, and haveing children now there really is nothing that can't be solved by patients and hard work. In my opinion the biggest reason that i feel i had a real ruff upbring was because i was born into a religion that is very black and whiteish, (it thinks but we really know) and i was someone who always seemed to have those to colors mixed up a lot, you see i love to question everything if it has holes in it expect me to find them. I ask my dad once if god told us that we are to love everyone, than we do we hate lucifer so much, and should'nt we love him also because it is not our place to judge? I was acwardly told that, that is not for us to worry about and that we just don't talk about those thing. So i got the message loud and clear, shut, just do it, and don't ask questions. My mom always told me that I didn't have to go to church and go to semanary but that if i didn't i wouldn't have a car to drive or they wouldn't pay for any of my transportation needs, so of course i am going to keep going my world comes crashing down without that.
so i am grown now and been married for six years and my life has kinda been one giant plane crash since leave mother ship i have had to figure out who i am and to depth and levels that i never knew, i have let go of everything that i thought that i was and now i can say that i know me now better than i ever have before. i feel like i have woken from a deep sleep that i have been in for years now.
What is not know about me is that I loved porn it was my one out from the judgemental hateful religon that i was apart of, i looked at porn probly since i was about 9 or on into the present day. This is not accepted among the believers, as a mattter of fact it is one of the most disgusting deceitful things that you can do as a morman besides adultry (which really seems like it is the highest not murder). So when i ever got caught it was always so acward to have them tell me that i shouldn't be doing this and that god calls touching myself a sin, never once did i ever hear them say hey listen this is sex this is what you do this is what happeneds, so i figured it out. Sex is so taboo to the morman faith that to an A.D.D. kid like myself it was the most interesting thing to me of course, and of course they tried everything they could to scare me out of it.
I did all the things that i need to do to be accepted by my family and the few believers, without realizing that by doing all of the things that pleased everyone else i was really just killing myself inside. I went on a mission for about 8 month until I got bored with it then i came home and got married in the temple to my sweet wife whom i cherish and adorn. looking back now i wish i would have had what it took to quit it then and not kill myself for so many years over nothing.
When most people leave this religion they never stop believing even if they disagree with the teaching they will always want to hang on to the fact that they think it is true because if it is not than what does that mean for there life and their eternal salvation. It's crazy to me that someone can be so educated in there particular field of expertise but when it comes to getting educated about god people resist it for the one reason of the fact that it is documented facts and not hokus pokus emotional heart pray and if you want to feel it is true than you will because we as humans can make anything true if we want it to be bad enough.i have completely detached from the religion, and not only that but the idea that god has something to offer me in my life. If we as people think that some mystical being in the sky is going to fix everything we are crazy obviously by the records that everyone keeps prophesying off of he isn't coming and we really should fix this ourselves. The idea of religion bring insecure people a false comfort in their life and it allows them to continue to play small and play a victim to anybody and anything ie. the devil that blows their way and then they can play small and act like the devil has made the world so evil and that there is just nothing that we can do about it, except meet once a week and talk about nothing that pertains to this world.
If we continue to hold on to the idea that god blesses us based upon our deeds and our action than there will always be judgment and indifference because if i am wealthy it is automatically assumed be the wealthy person that he is righteous because god has blessed him with all of this money, and there for feeling like he is better and or more righteous than the people who have not been blessed by god like he has. The more indifference that we create in this world the more hate pain suffering and death we will see here. if we want to really fix the world let go of god and anything that you think that he is and start over for yourself because if god exist than he has to be Unbiased and nonjudgmental because if he has judgment than he thinks less of one and more of the other because to have judgment you have to have something to compare to and god would never look at any of us and say well sorry but if you were more like this guy you would have made it. CRAZY ass religions the only true place we will ever find god is within. God is love God is peace God IS ME...
Being a father now it has puttin alot of prospective on my life, i always remeber getting spanked for pointless reason, and haveing children now there really is nothing that can't be solved by patients and hard work. In my opinion the biggest reason that i feel i had a real ruff upbring was because i was born into a religion that is very black and whiteish, (it thinks but we really know) and i was someone who always seemed to have those to colors mixed up a lot, you see i love to question everything if it has holes in it expect me to find them. I ask my dad once if god told us that we are to love everyone, than we do we hate lucifer so much, and should'nt we love him also because it is not our place to judge? I was acwardly told that, that is not for us to worry about and that we just don't talk about those thing. So i got the message loud and clear, shut, just do it, and don't ask questions. My mom always told me that I didn't have to go to church and go to semanary but that if i didn't i wouldn't have a car to drive or they wouldn't pay for any of my transportation needs, so of course i am going to keep going my world comes crashing down without that.
so i am grown now and been married for six years and my life has kinda been one giant plane crash since leave mother ship i have had to figure out who i am and to depth and levels that i never knew, i have let go of everything that i thought that i was and now i can say that i know me now better than i ever have before. i feel like i have woken from a deep sleep that i have been in for years now.
What is not know about me is that I loved porn it was my one out from the judgemental hateful religon that i was apart of, i looked at porn probly since i was about 9 or on into the present day. This is not accepted among the believers, as a mattter of fact it is one of the most disgusting deceitful things that you can do as a morman besides adultry (which really seems like it is the highest not murder). So when i ever got caught it was always so acward to have them tell me that i shouldn't be doing this and that god calls touching myself a sin, never once did i ever hear them say hey listen this is sex this is what you do this is what happeneds, so i figured it out. Sex is so taboo to the morman faith that to an A.D.D. kid like myself it was the most interesting thing to me of course, and of course they tried everything they could to scare me out of it.
I did all the things that i need to do to be accepted by my family and the few believers, without realizing that by doing all of the things that pleased everyone else i was really just killing myself inside. I went on a mission for about 8 month until I got bored with it then i came home and got married in the temple to my sweet wife whom i cherish and adorn. looking back now i wish i would have had what it took to quit it then and not kill myself for so many years over nothing.
When most people leave this religion they never stop believing even if they disagree with the teaching they will always want to hang on to the fact that they think it is true because if it is not than what does that mean for there life and their eternal salvation. It's crazy to me that someone can be so educated in there particular field of expertise but when it comes to getting educated about god people resist it for the one reason of the fact that it is documented facts and not hokus pokus emotional heart pray and if you want to feel it is true than you will because we as humans can make anything true if we want it to be bad enough.i have completely detached from the religion, and not only that but the idea that god has something to offer me in my life. If we as people think that some mystical being in the sky is going to fix everything we are crazy obviously by the records that everyone keeps prophesying off of he isn't coming and we really should fix this ourselves. The idea of religion bring insecure people a false comfort in their life and it allows them to continue to play small and play a victim to anybody and anything ie. the devil that blows their way and then they can play small and act like the devil has made the world so evil and that there is just nothing that we can do about it, except meet once a week and talk about nothing that pertains to this world.
If we continue to hold on to the idea that god blesses us based upon our deeds and our action than there will always be judgment and indifference because if i am wealthy it is automatically assumed be the wealthy person that he is righteous because god has blessed him with all of this money, and there for feeling like he is better and or more righteous than the people who have not been blessed by god like he has. The more indifference that we create in this world the more hate pain suffering and death we will see here. if we want to really fix the world let go of god and anything that you think that he is and start over for yourself because if god exist than he has to be Unbiased and nonjudgmental because if he has judgment than he thinks less of one and more of the other because to have judgment you have to have something to compare to and god would never look at any of us and say well sorry but if you were more like this guy you would have made it. CRAZY ass religions the only true place we will ever find god is within. God is love God is peace God IS ME...
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